1. What emoticon best represents how you look naked?
2. How do you like yr taters?
Hardcore, all varieties. Fried, scalloped, mashed, boiled, baked, herb roasted, stuffed. But no tots, please.
3. What is your position on grilled cheese?
I make the best grilled cheese in the goddamn world. My grilled cheese is so exceptional that men who have fed upon it have been known to fall down at my feet in a dead faint. They tell me my grilling techniques make their knees tremble. They say I’ve got grilled cheese skills like they’ve never seen before. They beg for more.
I won’t tell you what kind of cheese I use, or what kind of bread, or even what kind of grilling apparatus — those are trade secrets. But you should know that every person I’ve ever grilled cheese for has told me I could be a professional chef, if I wanted.
And you know, I would grill cheese for a living, under the right circumstances. You just watch. One o’ these days, you’ll find my little grilled cheese shop is more popular than ‘kraft.
Err … we’re just talking about sandwiches, right?
4. How are fedoras and pinstripes relevant to your casual sex shenanigans?
Ever seen a pinstriped patent leather bustier? Or a fedora with a built-in ball gag? No? That’s because you haven’t met me.
5. I know more about the life of LM Montgomery than you can possibly imagine.